Tantrums and Obsessions

Thoughts during Autism Acceptance Month.

There is a misconception that a meltdown is the same as an ordinary temper tantrum. A tantrum is generally driven by a "want" of something and is an attention-seeking behavior, whereas a meltdown generally results from a person who is overwhelmed or overstimulated (sensory overload) and will continue even if attention is not given.

I vividly remember her first full-fledged, out in public, tantrum several years ago. It occurred in Target when we were there working with her behavioral therapist (who is amazing, by the way). Lulu did not get to go to the toy section like she wanted to because we were working on waiting. Screaming, crying, and carrying on ensued, and we left the store (through some physical redirection).  

Lulu was not upset because the lights were flickering or the store was too warm or too cold. She wasn't hungry. There wasn't anything medically wrong with her. Lulu was angry because she was not allowed the immediate gratification of going to the toy section.

To ward off meltdowns, a lot of time is spent contingency planning. I try to guess what she would like and have it ready to give to her, especially if she's going a long distance. Redirection is used quite a bit,  and we also try to give a lot of choices, but sometimes for our own sanities, battles must be picked and giving in will win over. But giving in can't happen too often, because she's smart and forgets nothing. She knows that if we give in once, she will just have to keep at it long enough, and then we'll give in again. 

Lately the OCD has ramped up to a MACH 20. Lulu obsesses over things seemingly at the drop of a hat. She is unforgiving if we cannot produce what she wants immediately. If it's something she's had but lost, she'll overturn the entire house, flipping couch cushions, emptying drawers and shelves, throwing stuff wherever. She will incessantly ask for said item over and over until you just want to scream. She's even gotten crafty enough to steal your phone and try to order it online. 

Lulu also obsesses over things she sees on YouTube, thanks to everyone and their brother making videos of people playing with toys (WHY. IS. THIS. A. THING?!?) If you try to order it, it's often no longer made, so you are at the mercy of eBay, or private sellers on Amazon, who jack up the prices.... because autism isn't expensive enough already.  

It is, in a word, exhausting. 

But you keep going, because what else can you do?

One of those little MP3 players, but not that one, is the object of her obsession lately.