Today, during Autism Acceptance Month, I think about this: when you have children, you might talk about them in front of them, but as though they aren’t there. “This kid has a behavior/sensory/academic problem.” “This kid won’t eat her vegetables.” “This kid won’t do her homework.” "This kid is a monster."
Kids understand more than you think. They hear everything, and much is internalized by them and can have a major impact. Just about everyone does it, but it doesn't make it OK.
The same is true for people with autism or other disabilities. All too often a person with the disability is talked about as if they aren’t there, even though they are standing RIGHT THERE. Decisions are made without input from the affected person. While it’s tricky when someone is non-verbal, every effort should be made to reach out and understand.
I remember a specific incident from when I worked in a residential group home. This nonverbal gentleman needed assistance in the restroom, and from what staff indicated loudly to a room full of staff and other residents, it was a bit on the odorous side. I said something along the lines of, "ok, that's enough," but staff continued to complain loudly. It was at that point that I said, also loudly, "he's literally standing right next to you, and he understands every word you're saying. Stop it."
If a non-verbal person has an accident, spills a drink, or does something that might be embarrassing to a neurotypical person, don’t you think it would be embarrassing to the person with a disability...even more so if they are being laughed at? It’s not OK to laugh at someone’s shortcomings...ever. Don't think for a second that a disabled person is incapable of understanding. I know that while Lulu has a hard time expressing herself, receptively she understands everything.
People don’t like when they are talked about behind their backs...why would ANYONE like to be talked about as if they are invisible? Just don’t do it. Think before you speak. Always.
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