Thoughts During Autism Acceptance Month.
So when you have a child with autism, people don't know what to say or do. They seem to try to compliment you and/or your child, but often it just seems like a backhanded compliment. Sometimes statements are made based on stereotypes, and we all know how that can go!! You tend to get a LOT of uncomfortable silences and stares... and consequently you wish you were invisible.
Basically I just want people to treat me as normally as possible, and I believe that Lulu feels the same...
In any event, I thought I would share some of my "favorites" as far as comments go:
"You wouldn't know she's autistic just by looking at her!" How about just telling me how CUTE or CLEVER my kid is instead?
"God doesn't give you what you can't handle." This statement makes me absolutely crazy.... does it mean that if I were a weaker person, I would not be dealing with autism?? So...PLEASE stop saying that. There is so much involved, and just when you think you have a handle on things, another curveball comes your way. And then you just go with it the best you can. It's a matter of just dealing with things as they come up, and trying to contingency plan knowing that something else may go awry. Each day people are given their own curveballs, and oftentimes it has nothing to do with autism at all. Most people just deal with whatever it is and move on. That's simply what I do.
"Oh, I know that chelation therapy/gluten-free diets/jumping out of airplanes/spinning in circles will CURE autism." I know that these things are said with the best of intentions. With all due respect, please...just BE. QUIET. I'm already constantly bombarded with information, and it's difficult to sort through it all. Instead, try suggesting that you have some information that you've researched, and that you'll share it with me if I would like. It's showing that you care!
"What are your thoughts on the causes of autism?" Unless you have an idea of where a person stands, or you genuinely want to know, please leave that one alone and say nothing. Really. It's such a red-hot soapbox issue, and I will not change my opinion.
"Wow, she's really a handful, I'll bet!" Yes, she is. But so is any child. And quite frankly, I know many adults who are handfuls as well! LOL. But seriously, telling me how energetic my child is really leaves me with nothing to say except "yes."
This is not to say that one cannot bring any of these subjects up...just know your audience first, or possibly just ask me how I'm dealing with it all. And more than anything, please know that I genuinely feel appreciate knowing that you care!!
No comments:
Post a Comment