Far too often I hear stories of children who have wandered off from their families, their homes, or their schools. Sometimes those stories have a miraculous ending, but all too often they end in tragedy. Usually those children are on the autism spectrum. Every one of these stories makes me stop cold in my tracks and assess where my children are at that moment in time...even my neurotypical Annie’s whereabouts.
Among all of the reasons that autism can be challenging, the biggest one for me is keeping Lulu safe and preventing her from wandering. Lulu is crazy smart. She forgets nothing. And she is curious as all get out. This combination can be dangerous, especially for a little girl who has a love of water and fears nothing.
Lulu has a history of eloping. She likes to explore her surroundings, and doesn’t care if you don’t want to go with her. She’ll figure out a way to get to where she wants to be. She’s stealthy and she’s quick. She should probably be a cat burglar.
Lulu is not able to tell someone her name or address. She doesn’t answer to her name, and doesn’t consistently turn her head when her name is called. (A slight disclaimer: she is beginning to be able to write different things that she is tracing at school, including her address. If you happen to come across a lost nonverbal child or adult, try handing them a marker and a piece of paper... you just never know...)
Lulu has escaped while we were at Wegmans on more than one occasion. She runs away in Target (I refuse to take her to Target, and Walmart for that matter). When she was 4, she snuck away from us when we were at Moe’s, and she nearly made it to the heavily traveled parkway. A couple of years ago she fled from one of her former community workers and waded into the Susquehanna River (disclaimer: her community worker at the time was great, but Lulu escaped from her nonetheless....diligence is key, but not foolproof. More details on that fun time here: http://autismisourtrip.blogspot.com/2014/06/river-rat.html?m=1 ). And she has made many a solo excursion throughout our old neighborhood and now our new one... some resulting in calls to the local police...
The worst event was when she escaped at the Color Run a couple of years ago. Talk about panic... there were so many thousands of people there... all dressed in white and doused with color. Though it felt like an eternity, she was found relatively quickly, safe and sound.
This is not a comprehensive list of her Houdini tricks. Oh no...I believe that her guardian angel gets quite the workout!
Her elopement is the reason that I purchased a specially made harness...that Lulu was enrolled into swim lessons (and she did GREAT!)...that I researched and got insurance to pay for a special handmade bed that zips up to keep her safe (disclaimer again: due to some less than hygienic issues, Lulu has graduated to a regular bed, but I sleep with my door open so I can hear when she awakens)...that door alarms were installed on the doors of the house...that I often take pictures of her so that I can simply remember what she’s wearing.
Lulu worked with an amazing behavioral specialist who focuses on this elopement, as well as other behavioral challenges (like listening to directions and eating). She is currently on a waitlist for a community worker who will work on simple goals, such as walking through a store. In school, Lulu is also working on following directions and the simple act of waiting. She’s making considerable progress, but she still has a long way to go to keep her impulsivity in check. But I’m grateful for the supports that she currently has and has had along the way...I can’t imagine how crazy life would be without them!
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